Get the heck out of my dreams people : D Seriously... old stuff resurfaces even though... gah this is just pathetic : D To have memories at all in a life where basically nothing worth mentioning comes to mind within a minute & by that I mean time-specific events that one looks back upon and smiles, remembering the smallest details, even if it lasted for only a few minutes. yea, yea, sure it's not That bad, but it's there....
on the other hand there are things so small, so... fragile, that won't let me go, let me Be.... they keep reminding themselves out of the blue while being ghosts for months on end... it's... it hasn't changed anything... but it is a constant reminder of how nothing will until I do something about it. Forgetting already failed, running away... is also failing... but I....
and What is the matter with me... what did I do? I haven't DONE anything so Why do some say they Envy me... Me out of All people... this is a mystery worthy of Marlowe himself...
so no matter how long we've been here, the nature, the core of our problems never changes from the most childish things we encountered while we were younger... won''t say kids because there are always exceptions...
but its 50+ years into the future and Thames has flooded most of London, forcing people to live on buoyant districts built on discontinued supertankers. there's a birthday party in which many of us are attending, people I've seen once in my life but never even talked to; people I have never even seen but talked to; people.... people who I know of somehow... read/heard about... classics and grand masters rise from their so-called graves to join us, serial killers/mass murderers, lunatics of all kinds... fictional characters, imaginary friends & enemies... there is a party... and that's all i know but stuff like this still annoys me because I try to look for meanings... I know where the setting comes from, I know what the party transforms from; I know all those people were there although I wasn't able to meet even 0,1% of them in that short time-frame... what I don't get is what were all those people doing there : D Specific, oh so specific people... moreover... why did I see Them out all the possibilities? Why did I go and greet champagne-in-hand Them? and when, moreover Why did it stop? To what ship deck did I reach... pff more questions than answers is so typical this must stop here.
then again its (probably) -50+ years and we're driving in an old convertible across a field of flowers in bloom. Don't remember if anyone was chasing us or where were we going... don't even know who & how many were there in that 1950s American thing...
always be free
these are my feelings for you
perfume and cigarette smoke,
shampoo and alcohol...
weeks have passed but it's the same ol' story... still my mind seems unable to let certain people go since they keep on reappearing at night... ooh spooky! hah
But seriously... we haven't talked for months. Please stop stepping into my worlds. At least those situations you (
all) appear in are surreal/unreal enough for me to realize it's all but a dream.
I've missed you and I don't really know why...
kirjuta lojaalsuse diplomitöö sellest, kuidas tüdruku esimene kaisukaru on talle parem olnud, kui ükskõik milline poisssõber.
tõestisündinud lugu sinu surmast
a doll without a heart born from warm hands
i neither smile nor talk
i'll summon all my strength to know what it means to live
And when I feel like I can feel once again
Before we let euphoria
Convince us we are free
Remind us how we used to feel
Before when life was real
d
Violence is what we thrive for, it keeps us together.
Ei ole mõttetult elatud aegu, mõte ei pruugigi selguda praegu - A.Alliksaar
"Iga inimene on maailmas eriline, keegi ei suuda kellegi teise elumõtet sügavuti mõista ega tema unistusi lõpuni mõelda. Iga inimene on omaette maailm, toetudes iseenda egoismile otsitakse teisi ja jäetaksegi otsima. Nii nagu tõeline armastus, mis lab unistustes ja jääb enamikule kättesaamatuks, sest eelkõige nähakse kõige keskmes ikka iseennast."
Metric - Black Sheep on täiega viimaseaja parim lugu : D
Vaadake filmi inimesed(loe tulge minuga vaatama)! Ma vaatan seda vist vähemalt 2x veel : DD kinda sick, ammu pole juba sellist teemat olnud mingi filmiga : D obsessed? OoO
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